12. “Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy?”
11. “That’s right, not even McGyver could fix it.”
10. “So — what are you wearing?”
9. “”Duuuuuude! Bummer!”
8. “Looks like you’re gonna need some new dilithium crystals, Cap’n.”
7. “Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you’re with ’60 Minutes.’ Press 4 if you’re with the FTC.”
6. “We can fix this, but you’re gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape and a car battery.”
5. “I’ve sorry, Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
4. “In layman’s terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect.”
3. “Hold on a second. Mom! Timmy’s hitting me!”
2. “Ok, turn to Page 523 in your copy of ‘Dianetics.’”
1. “Please hold for Mr. Gates’ attorney.

1. “The Man with the brief case stopped running.” The reaction of the Tech Rep was “What did he do wheen he stopped?”
2. “I changed my password on my phone. How come I can’t connect to the Network?” The reaction of the Tech Rep was “We don’t have single sign on software yet.”
3. Woman on phone “I’m Bob, my social security number is 999-99-9999. Change my password on the mainframe please.” The reaction of the Tech Rep was, “Your voice is too high, Bob, call back when it breaks.”